You used to call in saying hi mum can't stay long, I have to get back to pick Liam up from school, or Liam was been dropped off or you had to pick Shanny up from shopping with her mum, you always seemed to have something to do. I should have cherished those moments you called to see us more........instead of asking why you didn't all come or why didn't you come the other week.

I know what stopped you & Shanny coming for a while, it was because we complained to the doctor about the physiotherapist, We thought the physiotherapist came to give Liam physio not show you & Shanny what physio to do on Liam that would help him. We didn't know till you both came after you had been to see Liams doctor after he had got cross with you both..

How were we to know?

I know you said sometimes you didn't come because you had to take family to wherever you had been asked to take them, sometimes you just wanted to stay at home & not have to go out so you could do things with the racer.

We talked a lot at the hospice when you were awake and Shanny was out sorting her clothes and things for the boys for the wedding.

Pleased you said, you understood why we had wrote to the doctor. You knew it was because we cared about Liam. I wish we could have made Shanny understand too, it would have been better & I probably might have got to see the boys more.

One thing you asked me at the hospice was why I had not visited you all at your house, I told you it was because Shanny had never asked us to visit, on the rare times I did visit there was always someone from Shannys family there, I said they had every right to be there.  You said I did too but I always felt like I was intruding and shouldn't be there because Shanny used to go up stairs or if her mum was there they would go in the kitchen, never got asked to sit down and they ignored us.

You both used to come to mine sometimes bringing shannys mum or sister, I always tried to make them welcome. They would chat ok have a cuppa & sandwich, yet would sometimes just leave without even saying bye......I never ever understood them doing that?

At the hospice they would stay with Liam in the room up the corridor, They would leave in the morning sometimes without calling into your room or saying bye to you before leaving. I used to hate it when you would ask me to fetch Shanny, when I knew they had already left. 

I would love to invite some of our family over and do a buffet asking Shanny over with boys, even Josh's cousin Jason, to meet our side of family.........maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but it would be nice all the same. Your mum can dream........x